Conspiracy Part 2.

I so can't believe this is happening... when i read the news, it was like -blank- then i felt an arrow through my heart... i was not physical pain that i felt, it just felt like a piece of me just left... then tears start rolling down...

Aargh... i really want to give all of this up... just to forget about the kpop world, stop all my fandoms, and just not to care anymore... but it is so hard... every second i spend in this quicksand, the deeper i get pulled into it... at this stage, i'm almost drowning... can somebody save me??

Hmm... i guess not... even if someone would, i would die anyway... this obsession has become an addiction... i can't live without it no more... kpop has become a part of me... four years is not a long time but i think i have been through much more in this four years compared with the years before that... kpop has shaped and molded me into who i am today... how can i let it go??

Recently, i have learned what conspiracy is... it is the cruelest word in the world and the most evil of all sins... i hope i have not done this awful thing to anyone because now, i know how much it hurts... how it not only breaks a person's heart but also hearts of people who love that person... in this world, a person does not stand alone... there are people whom that person loves and loves that person...

So next time before you hurt someone, take a moment and think how many other people will you hurt just because you want revenge on that one person...

PLEASE DON'T HURT US ANYMORE...
WE ONLY HAVE ONE HEART AND A PIECE OF IT IS MISSING...
IF YOU CAN'T FIX THIS HEART, I'M SORRY...
IT IS ALL OVER...

To Jay:
I can't let you go even if i die;
How can i let you go?
If you were to go,
If you were to leave,
Fix my heart first;
So that i won't feel pain,
So that at least i can live on;
If you can't,
I can't live anyway;
Then i can't let you go even if i die...

-i'm giving myself one more chance... this is my time to be strong... for the people i love and the people who love me... i'm going to go on... but i'll no longer cheer for the six... until the 1 minute comes back, time has stopped...-