My Secret Me

네꺼하자 (Be Mine)

2011-08-19T23:16:00.006+08:00

hmm... well, interesting week... probably the only one of its kind in my entire lifetime... (i'm writing this post because i am so bored waiting for youtube to load... and i don't feel like writing my practical training report...) anyway, yeah... so, my week began with surgery... yup, you read that right - SURGERY... not a big one, and just something i had planned to do for quite some time... want to know WHAT KIND of surgery?? haha... EYE surgery... still puzzled?? okay lah... it's just lasik sugery... totally bladeless and almost riskless... for what i hear you ask?? duh... have you been living under a rock? it's a simple procedure to correct my eyesight... happy now?? keke...

yeah... so now i can see without wearing glasses... i have 20/20 vision without wearing glasses... how cool is that?? and i still can't believe i did it... it is like i have been planning this for years and have seen this coming... but to actually go under the laser is a totally different thing... and i still can't believe i did it... it was like one moment i was fully dependent on my prescription glasses and 5 minutes later, i could see without them... 13 years of wearing glasses just disappeared at that moment... it was just... something to be experienced... cool... and interesting...

so now, i'm living a life without the need of glasses... but for the whole of this week since Monday, it had been eye drops after eye drops... the laser procedure guarantees an error and risk free procedure, but they don't guarantee the risk of infection, hence the eye drops... other than that, there are almost no side effects... except for some glare and halo when i look at lights and also a whole list of things i cannot do... for instance, rub my eyes, swim, and etc. etc...

the other thing i want to mention is how ridiculous the whole procedure really is... the only thing you go through the most are tests... okay, fine... they are kinda NECESSARY... but going under the laser was, well, i almost laughed... it felt like nothing... fine, lasers can't be felt... that's why i find it so amusing... seriously, there was ZERO pain throughout the procedure... and one more amusing thing... before the procedure, the nurse asked me if i wanted her to hold her hand... err, yeah~~ if i was a guy... simple procedure... i wasn't nervous, but i guess others would be... for me i felt that knowing what the doctor was going to do helped me calm myself down... i knew what he was doing, so everything was alright... so, in conclusion, do your research before undergoing medical procedure... hahaha...

err... other than that, actually there is nothing else interesting about this week really... stayed indoors first few days... and tonight i can sleep without the eye shields (they keep you from rubbing your eyes unconsciously...)... so that was my week... how was yours???

P.S. i forgot to mention about my recent obsession with INFINITE... these boys are cute... check them out... INFINITE's 네꺼하자 (Be Mine)... it's really good...

-my precious and awesome korean cd and dvd collection... you jealous??-

Last Farewell...

2011-07-29T23:32:00.004+08:00

just came back from bowling game and 마지막 인사 dinner with LLA's staff, bosses and family members included... although i don't believe and feel like this is the last farewell, in fact that it is... everyone at the company has been so nice and helpful, treating us trainees like family since the day we started... thank you all for making this supposedly arduous industrial training such a memorable and precious one... even though each and everyone of you have your own quirks, every single one of you have come together to make the office and studio a living and breathing environment, where energy and possibilities are endless... my journey through the office will not have been complete if one of you is missing...

anyway, back to today.... after a sudden assignment announcement yesterday by Boss to prepare a presentation for sponsors, i started a mad rush yesterday evening and night and also the whole morning and afternoon of today preparing the presentation before the end of today... and i did it... and if i am able to do a perspective of the Sensory Garden, i shall add it into the presentation later... keke... for now, it is complete... after that began a huge cleanup of the files which have passed through my hands during the three months i was at LLA... a whopping 15G of files?? that couldn't be it... after deleting lots of files, i managed to squeeze them down to 1G... ooohh... i'm a genius...

urgh... i'm so sleepy while writing this... ZZzzz... trying very hard to remember details... i know i have to finish this tonight before i hit the sack, if not i'll never get down to doing this...

so anyway, yeah... Champagne and i bought two cakes for the office.... a cheese cake and a tiramisu from jenni's... cheese cake was a hit... haha... gave the present for supervisor and received another in return... Boss called us to his office in the morning to give us a lecture... what was it i don't really understand and remember.... i'm so dead... i think i have this automatic button in my head that shuts off speech which sounds similar to my dad's...

like i have said before up here, the office is really cool... to commemorate out time here in the office, we had a bowling outing and thai food dinner.... tell you what... this is the first time i played three games of bowling in a row... crazy la... my legs are feeling so sore now, i'm so glad i'm sitting in my bed... had lots of fun there... not only me, but others as well... our company's environment is really a class above others... while employees of other companies went bowling in white long-sleeved shirts and black slacks, members of LLA went bowling in t-shirts and shorts... while other people were giving high fives, we were clapping and shouting and booing... what fun did we have there tonight... keke...

at 9pm, we finally stopped playing and headed over to Tan Jetty for thai food dinner... the food was scrumptious, until petai came... my deepest apologies to petai lovers, but i can't stand that stuff... half a plate of rice, a bowl of tomyam soup, a piece of insanely hot chicken in green curry, half a fish cake and a two pieces of brinjal later, i was filled up to my throat... as if feeling the way my stomach is at the moment, my car moved very slowly back to the office where i dropped off my fellow friends and interns before making my way sleepily and bloatedly back home...

hehe... this is probably one of the longer posts i have written in quite a while... err... nah, don't think so... all my posts are long... haha... but i really feel grateful for having a chance to experience this amazing journey....never once has it crossed my minds that our paths will cross... and although our paths have split again, we bear a period in time where our paths are intertwined forever... like i try not to forget this experience, i hope that i will not be forgotten easily as well... who knows, maybe someday, we may cross paths again...

till destiny brings us together again, i shall bid farewell to the 12 weeks and unique personalities at LLA... don't ever think that you are just a drop of water in the river... to me, you are the ocean... where there is a beginning, there will be an end... and sad to say that today is one of those endings... but when a journey ends, a new one begins... till our journeys lead us to the same one again, so long, and farewell...

이게 나의 마지막 인사... 안녕...

-edited-

This LOVE SONG~~

2011-07-20T11:11:00.001+08:00

Love hurts. Full Stop. The more sincere, honest you are, the harder you fall, the more it hurts… honestly, it really is easier to forgive than to forget… it’s amazing how even the happy times spent together can be forgotten so easily… but the arguments, the quarrels and betrayals can be forgiven through time, but never forgotten… although time has brought us down different roads, there still are times when I look back to the moment we stood at the forked road, contemplating which to take, and also further back when we walked down the road together…

I was selfish, I changed and no longer enjoyed walking down that road… soon, the walk became a hike, the hike became a climb till a point where my tired self couldn’t take it any longer… no one can believe how grateful I was when a forked road appeared at that very moment… that was my chance… to get away from something I was tired of, and maybe, just maybe, become a happier me…

Separation, at first, was daunting… many a time did I think of turning back and return to what it was before… but I did not… because, going in separate ways, I was doing it for ME… so that I won’t be dependent on anyone, to truly be who I am, I need to continue this journey alone… soon, the memories of yesterdays were filled with new experiences of today… although it was hard to start over, I always had help from passersby… acquaintances who would walk awhile with me on this road when it gets dark or lonely…

Today, I’m proud to be myself… ever since that forked road, I learned to love myself and others that truly matter… it was like breathing your first breath of air after a long, long, long dive… I felt refreshed, reborned in a certain way… while memories of the past get further and further away, I have no regrets… because now, am living the life that I want and being who I am… yeah~~ the biggest regrets in life are the risks one did not take… well, I am proud and happy to say that I have taken risks and LOVING the ending that came from of them…

LOVE MYSELF TO BITS!!!

2011: The Year of BIG BANG!!

2011-04-05T00:52:00.005+08:00

I LOVE BIG BANG… haha… it’s amazing how I listen to their songs over and over again and don’t get tired of them… their songs are just AMAZING… G-Dragon is a genius… and no, he is not over-rated… just because he is an idol singer does not make him a bad producer… HE IS AWESOME!! Thanks so much, G-D…

The thing is, other than the song itself, Big Bang’s songs hold lyrics that makes me think twice about it… all thanks again, to G-D, and T.O.P… kekeke… like in their title track, Tonight, for their latest mini album, my favourite line goes “아직 사랑을 몰라” or “ajik sarangeul molla”, which translates to “I still don’t know love”… makes sense don’t you think?? We can study about almost anything in the world, with books, the internet, etc… but we cannot study about love… come to think of it, there is so many kinds of love… love towards your family, friends, partner, work, singers (haha…. BIG BANG!!)… there is even so many stages of love… gyahh… you know what I think… I think love cannot be learned… it is something that is supposed to come naturally, without force and without any outside interference… well, yes, I admit that I still do not know love… but at least I know enough to love others… firstly, my family, I love them so much I don’t think I can (or am willing to) live without them… that is how big my love for my family is… I LIVE for them… of course, I love myself… I’m like the vainest person on Earth… everyday, I look into the mirror and ask, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all…”, and I give myself the answer… and it is not Snow White… haha… then, my love for Kpop… haih… I must be going crazy… BIG BANG!! Aren’t they AWESOME?? Hahaha…

Other than that, there is another song, from the same Big Bang album… this time, in What is Right, T.O.P. sang, “사랑은 안 변해, 사람이 변해” or “sarangeun an byeonhae, sarami byeonhae”, which means “love doesn’t change, people do”… well, again… so right, isn’t it?? Keke… this line hit me hard… cause after I read that line, I felt that it was meant for me… yes, I have changed a lot… but isn’t that what people do?? I am human too… I change, and have changed… but my love, although it has faded, it is still the same… or at least it was… now, well, I have other better things to love… like BIG BANG!! Haha… I do not love Big Bang… I’m OBSESSED… they can Take My Soul, Take My Heart Back… I don’t need them… as long as I have Big Bang!! Muahahaha…

Another one… this one is long ago, from Taeyang’s first solo album, his song, “너 나만 바라봐”, or “Only Look at Me”… I don’t remember the specific lyrics now, but the meaning went something like “even if I play around, you must not leave” and “maybe, sometimes I will meet eyes with another woman for awhile, but you must only look at me” or something like that… selfish, yes… but still nice lyrics… and shows that although the guy plays around, he still hangs on to the girl… or want the girl to hang on to him… whatever… doesn’t matter… still BIG BANG ROCKS!! Keke… 내가 미쳤 나봐…

That’s all for now… just want to shout out loud to the whole world that I LOVE BIG BANG!! Sorry for spamming… but this is the only place I can spam… I am actually controlling myself not to write I LOVE BIG BANG over and over again… like how we used to write “I shall remember to do my homework” as punishment… nah… why can’t I do what I please once in a awhile?? Here goes…

I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG I LOVE BIG BANG

Haha… ok… I’m done… 22 I LOVE BIG BANGs for Big Bang themselves… 4 for each member, and and extra 1 for G-Dragon, for being such a excellent leader, singer, rapper and producer… and for wearing those skirts and the guitar solo part during performances… and the last I LOVE BIG BANG for my favourite member, T.O.P, for just being a pure rapper… thanks for being so cute… even on stage… I LOVE BIG BANG!!

-A picture speaks more than thousand words-

Dreams~~

2011-02-22T23:35:00.015+08:00

Ah~~It has been so long since i've written in my blog... it's not that i do not want to, but to fully put my entire feelings into words is an exhausting task... some may think that writing comes naturally for me... but the important thing for me when writing is to pour your heart and soul into that piece of writing, in order for it to reach out to your readers, for them to feel what you felt and to understand what you intend to convey... well, besides the lack of time, i seem to have lost my passion for writing... erm, not really... (it's just that i'm really really lazy... hehe)...

A new year... it has been for almost two months... and a new lunar year, for three weeks... and i've finally felt the burden crashing down on me... assignment after assignment after assignment... i feel like i'm suffocating, like i've got no time to even breathe... yes, time flies... but the consequences of having too much on my hands, i have a really bad feeling about it... i'm trying not to think and worry too much, but now it feels like a part of me have lost hope... i want to cry but my pride won't let me...

I can't even sleep soundly at night... i'm asleep, but these weird dreams keep haunting me... it's different every night and i wake up feeling more tired than when i fell asleep... i even have dreams during a fifteen minute nap... i just want to sleep... is it such a ridiculous request? for all we're going through, a night of peaceful sleep is like an oasis at a desert... i'm so tired...

I better go try to sleep now... while i have a happy, smiling image in my head... i shall go to bed thinking that tomorrow will be a better day... and that no matter what happens, i will not let go of that hand, if that hand does not let go of me... thank you~~

-Searching for that oasis? Look into your heart and you will find it... -

If I Could Change Something About Myself...

2010-08-24T11:55:00.004+08:00

If I could change something about myself, I would change nothing at all. I'm not saying that I do not have to change because I'm perfect. It is just that I love the way I am now and do not think that there is a need to change anything about myself.

I am only human. I change. But I have not purposely or deliberately changed myself for a particular reason. Instead, I change as time passes. If you would have met me 5 years ago, I bet that you wouldn't be able to recognize me by my looks or my personality. Yes, I am the kind person who has changed drastically over time. Even now, I am changing with everyday that goes by.

I am a normal person. Of course there are times which I ave thought about having cosmetic surgery. For your information, I used to be really overweight. I weighed 75 kg at one point and I wasn't even as tall as I am now. I had small eyes and wished my nose was higher and my lips thinner. One day, I was editing my picture using Photoshop. So I played around with it and made my eyes bigger, my nose higher and my lips thinner. When I was almost done, I noticed that the girl in the picture looked nothing like me. I couldn't recognize myself and started to feel uncomfortable. I imagined what it would be like to wake up one day, look into the mirror and see a reflection which is not mine. I did not like that feeling at all. I felt that I would lose myself. Since that moment, I started to accept myself for who I am and what I looked like. I learned to treasure and love myself more.

When that happened, when my mindset changed, my personality did too. I started to love myself and gained confidence from that love. I kept telling myself that I am not as bad as I thought I am and that I could be on par with the best. I realized that the only person I should really satisfy and make happy is myself. With my newly found confidence, I was no longer shy and quiet in class. I mixed around and got to know my classmates whom I was afraid to talk to before. I learned to be who I am and not hide behind a mask that I created for myself. I learned to say no and to do what I wanted to do. An example of this was when I told my mum I wanted to quit my piano lessons which I have hated for the past 10 years. It's only when you take off your mask and be yourself that you live for yourself and truly enjoy the meaning of living.

After all the changes that I have been through, I don't think I deserve the right to change anymore. I think that I am one of the luckier people who changed for the better. Compared to what I was before, through time, I have changed to be a better person . Even though some of these changes have brought quite a few scars and tears, I do not regret it because now I can truly love myself and just live for no one but myself.

P.S. Another speech for English class... This is going to be hard... :(

Without Words - 9th Street

2010-07-29T23:05:00.003+08:00

So... was messing around with facebook when i stumbled upon a note i did more than a year ago... it was very hilarious and i think it still is... so i just felt like doing it again... it is really fun and i sincerely recommend this to all of you... seriously, try this... you will laugh your head off...

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Love Song - Rain

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Beauty (BONAMANA) - Super Junior [I didn't cheat... ;-)]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Lucifer - SHINee

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You're My Melody - TVXQ!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
I Love Him - Ding Dang

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Oh! - Girls Generation

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Lollipop - 2NE1 ft. Big Bang

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
We Fell In Love - JoKwon & GaIn

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Not Young - U-Kiss

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Wrong Number - TVXQ!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I Was Crazy About You - 2PM

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
MIROTIC - TVXQ!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - Lee Hyo Ri

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
What Should I Do? - Park Da Hye

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Need A Girl - TaeYang

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Because I'm Stupid - SS501

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
No Other - Super Junior

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Like A Fool - 2AM

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Nothing Better - TVXQ!

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
LOVE - C.N. Blue

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Mystery - BEAST

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Without Words - 9th Street

Ahhh... i still feel the 1st one i did was much better... kekeke...

First Photoshoot

2010-07-19T21:39:00.005+08:00

This happened two weeks back, but it is only now that i thought of writing this here... yup... i had my first ever photoshoot... *applause*... so mum and i were just walking Gurney Plaza to kill time and so happens that Lancome was having a fair there... they offered a few things free so my mum went for the skin analysis while i did the makeover and had the photoshoot... amazingly, the pictures came out GREAT... haha... thanks to a whole lot of photoshopping...

So, here are the pictures...

ATTENTION:
Beware people who are not that into me...
The images below may cause nauseousness and puking...
Viewer discretion advised...

Two and a Half Minute Self Introductory

2010-07-19T21:21:00.004+08:00

One beautiful morning in July, a baby girl was born. Her parents gave her the name Sui Min and took her back home, where she would live for the next 20 years and more. That baby was me. I was born and raised in Penang, and that is where many of my hopes and dreams revolve around. And it is because of Penang that I am here today.

Having Georgetown named one of UNESCO's World Heritage sites, further strengthened my choice in pursuing my ambition. Despite many relatives, teachers and peers telling me that the path I chose is a difficult one, I did not once waver from it and every time someone told me I should reconsider my choice, the stronger my feeling of wanting to prove myself became.

Therefore, after graduating from the most prestigious girls' school in Penang, St. Georges' Girls School, I entered USM as the first step to my ultimate goal. It was then that I realised these 3 years are not going to be easy. The beginning of my trials began as early as the orientation week for first years. As if having no friends entering the same university as myself was not bad enough, I was horrified to discover that the two most widely spoken languages on campus are Bahasa Malaysia and Mandarin. Being able to speak fluently in neither language, there were many times where I almost broke into tears, facing a huge language barrier alone. Thankfully, after starting classes, I found a great group of friends who had been my antidote in the worst of situations. Together, we completed ridiculous assignments, fought adversity and managed to survive our first year in university. Besides the hardships, we also shared many happy times joking, teasing each other and exchanging gossips.

After spending a year experiencing a taste of this course, I have to admit that what I chose to do is not easy. Assignments are always loaded with ideas, sketches, plans, crit sessions, models, all done in a limited amount of time. Do you know how many kinds of paper and board there are? Anyway, going back to my ambition, isn't preserving our heritage and culture a noble thing to do? In line with USM's mission to be sustainable, don't old buildings deserve a chance to contribute to this mission? And by this I don't mean knocking them over and constructing green skyscrapers in their place. What I want to do is to conserve and restore all run down heritage buildings to their former glory, and making them sustainable for the future.

I aspire to be an Architect who look to the future by utilising the past. That is why I am here in USM, taking a course in Architecture, and hoping to graduate in two year's time. Thank you.

P.S. This was supposed to be for my English course but I did not use it... so that is how it ended up on my blog... the shortest essay I've ever written in two hours... who knew self introductions are so difficult to write...

B2ST... 준형 사랑해...

RAIN

2010-05-01T17:35:00.005+08:00

I finally found my ideal guy... his name is RAIN...

Hahaha... i really cannot believe the cool, sexy, charismatic singer on stage is actually such a humble and down-to-earth guy off stage... he's really just like any other guy... awww... i've so fallen for him... he's tall, handsome, rich... hei... i'm not that kind of girl... on top of that, he is really the kind of guy i like... guys who had that sexy charisma to everyone, but to the people he is close with, he just becomes a cute teddy bear...

Which reminds me, the way he sings 'Three Bears' in Full House is just "Jjang!!" I can still remember...
곰새마리가 한집에 있어,
앞파곰, 엄마곰, 에기곰,
앞파곰을 퉁퉁해,엄마곰을 날신에,
에기곰을 너무 기어워,
웃음 웃음 잘안다.

Oh yeah... i think i like B2ST too... plus U-Kiss... gyaahhh... i don't know... i love them all... hehehehe...

사랑해 영원히...

2010-04-02T21:42:00.004+08:00

Today an unexpected thought crossed my mind... i was going to 'ta pau' rice for mum and brothers, so i went to the duck rice seller and said, "Uncle, three packets of duck rice."... but then the uncle surprised me by saying, "Why you call me uncle? I'm not married."... i was stunned... my first thought was to reply, "Then why are you working so hard for?", but i kept my mouth shut and merely smiled...

Then the thought hit me... this guy has no family, probably he still has his parents but no other extra 'baggage'... why does he still have to get up every morning, prepare his stuff and sell duck rice for the whole day?? he only needs to feed himself, and probably only his mother, so why bother all the work?? then that is when i realized that all that i am doing now, even if i am not working as hard as i should, i don't think that i will be working like i am if i do not have my family to think about...

I do not think that there will be a reason to be the best if there is no one to share it with you... i mean, what is the point of sweating it out everyday and earning a lot of money but every night, you come back to an empty house, eating dinner all by yourself and sleeping alone in a king sized bed??

I think that i gain strength from my family... without them, i wouldn't be the person i am now... i want them to be proud of me, to show me off to their friends and also to be able to rely on me... therefore, with the strength that they supply, i am going to work harder... it has been a hectic week and going to be another... finals is drawing near... i shall stay strong...
Oh, last thing... a shout out to my FAMILY MEMBERS...

I LOVE YOU!!!

P.S. An update for everyone...
I cut my HAIR... hehe...

The Epitome of Betrayal

2010-03-07T11:56:00.004+08:00

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth... is this how the world is supposed to be?? is betrayal supposed to be repaid with betrayal?? i believe that what goes around comes around... but to play the role of Destiny yourself, isn't it too much?? i can't understand the language you speak, but that's alright... i have heard enough... it is settled then... Jay's not coming back... but rather than letting him go like you did, i will never forget...

The only outcome of this whole ordeal is that now i can see what a truly beautiful person Jay is... that 'personal mistake', i don't believe it... after my anger passed, i am actually relieved... relieved that Jay is no longer affiliated with that company and he is doing what he likes most... i sincerely hope he is happy and is able to move on to greater heights...

Jay has really inspired me... he made me realize, or recall what i truly want to be... i do not wish to be a famous architect, or a person who can influence the whole world... i just want to be a filial daughter, a protective sister, a loyal friend, a diligent student and a whole person... like Jay, i want to be able to make money for my mum to go shopping, a person who is able to keep all the pain inside so that the people around me do not have to worry about me, someone who would offer food to other people even though they themselves are really hungry and a person who respect those who are usually ignored by others...

If Jay can do it, so can i... this shall be my resolution, not for this year, but for the rest of my life... as long as Jay still lives in fan's hearts, i shall strive to be like him... this few weeks will be my initial test... on the verge of breaking down (more like blowing up), i shall see how strong my will is... i promise, i won't let you down... yet...

JAY, I'LL NEVER FORGET...

Credits: 2ONEDAY.com

Conspiracy Part 2.

2010-02-25T23:28:00.003+08:00

I so can't believe this is happening... when i read the news, it was like -blank- then i felt an arrow through my heart... i was not physical pain that i felt, it just felt like a piece of me just left... then tears start rolling down...

Aargh... i really want to give all of this up... just to forget about the kpop world, stop all my fandoms, and just not to care anymore... but it is so hard... every second i spend in this quicksand, the deeper i get pulled into it... at this stage, i'm almost drowning... can somebody save me??

Hmm... i guess not... even if someone would, i would die anyway... this obsession has become an addiction... i can't live without it no more... kpop has become a part of me... four years is not a long time but i think i have been through much more in this four years compared with the years before that... kpop has shaped and molded me into who i am today... how can i let it go??

Recently, i have learned what conspiracy is... it is the cruelest word in the world and the most evil of all sins... i hope i have not done this awful thing to anyone because now, i know how much it hurts... how it not only breaks a person's heart but also hearts of people who love that person... in this world, a person does not stand alone... there are people whom that person loves and loves that person...

So next time before you hurt someone, take a moment and think how many other people will you hurt just because you want revenge on that one person...

PLEASE DON'T HURT US ANYMORE...
WE ONLY HAVE ONE HEART AND A PIECE OF IT IS MISSING...
IF YOU CAN'T FIX THIS HEART, I'M SORRY...
IT IS ALL OVER...

To Jay:
I can't let you go even if i die;
How can i let you go?
If you were to go,
If you were to leave,
Fix my heart first;
So that i won't feel pain,
So that at least i can live on;
If you can't,
I can't live anyway;
Then i can't let you go even if i die...

-i'm giving myself one more chance... this is my time to be strong... for the people i love and the people who love me... i'm going to go on... but i'll no longer cheer for the six... until the 1 minute comes back, time has stopped...-

Conspiracy

2010-02-21T12:53:00.005+08:00

This world is just full of conspiracies... nothing, NOTHING is done for no reason... every single thing you do, every single thing other people do, there is a reason... some reasons are easy to discover, while others build roads to the ultimate reason...

Sometimes, people do things we do not understand... WHY?? because they have a reason... they do one thing in front of you and another behind your back... it's all conspiracy... everything they do only leads to their ultimate goal... they just do not care what they do or who they hurt along the way... they just want to achieve their goals...

If you think one person conspiring against you is bad, try the whole nation... Jaebum oppa, i really really REALLY miss you... seeing your satisfied face doing what you love best, i wonder if we are still right in trying to bring you back... maybe you are better off being with the ones you love, doing the things you love... will coming back deepen the wound in your heart??

I hate conspiracies... oppa, can you tell us what we should do?? do you want to come back?? or have you given up?? i miss you... WE miss you... who's gonna stand in the middle now, jay? who's going to do the back flips and difficult stunts?? 2PM is not complete until you come back... but do you want it?? do you want it?? 원해??

It's still 1:59PM - it's still cold, Jay.
When is it gonna be HOT again??

Happiness

2010-01-23T23:30:00.004+08:00

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way,
something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business,
time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way.
So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Dance as though no one is watching you.
Love as though you have never been hurt before.
Sing as though no one can hear you.
Live as though heaven is on earth.

~Alfred D' Souza

What is right??

2009-11-07T14:34:00.005+08:00

What is the right thing to do?? Is it right to fight for someone but at the same time hurting the ones you love?? Is what you are doing now hurting or helping the ones you love?? Is this what they want you to do?? Are we doing the right thing??

I don't know... i'm feeling so confused right now... hmm... not really confused but more like being at an intersection and not knowing which path to head down... the first road is the path most taken, the path i should take, but also the path that the ones we love may not agree to... the second path is the less-chosen path, it won't cause grief and dread to the ones we love but is this what they really want??

How simple will life be if everyone just speaks their mind... tell me, what do you want?? which path should i take?? then this world will be free of conspiracy, misunderstandings and backstabbings... i would rather everyone tell of my faults straight to my face than to spread rumours behind my back... if you want someone to listen to you, speak up... don't whisper to the person next to you...

Tired of waiting, I was crazy for you...I am still crazy for you and I will keep on waiting...
내가 기다릴께

ONE

2009-11-02T23:10:00.008+08:00

If i were to equate today as something, today would be like a really high waterfall... starting at the top, the view was beautiful... absorbing the breathtaking view, taking in the atmosphere, with overflowing confidence and expectations, you jump... then all of it just disappears as you close your eyes, resisting the force of the wind and splashes of water all over your body... there is no turning back... there's only one way you must head - DOWN... seconds, minutes pass... finally pain sears every inch of your skin as you hit the cold, freezing water so hard that you lose your senses for awhile... fully submerged in water, you struggle to get your head above water so you can take that breath you did not manage to take before you hit the water... when you finally gain consciousness, you begin to wonder how that trill of exhilaration at the top ended up as a battle with the forces for your own life...

Today was like that... started the day full of expectations, finally the wait was over, something is going to happen, seven would be one again... instead, seven was still six... that was when the day leaped from the top of the waterfall... it started to go down, and further down when five became two... and further down when two was divided... why does it have to become so complicated?? SEVEN is not six, FIVE is not two... they are all ONE... seven is ONE, five is also ONE... is ONE that hard to count??

Tomorrow... i don't know if i want to look forward to it... i'm scared it would be bad news again... i mean, at this stage, is good news even possible?? we can't defy gravity... we can't suddenly just stop in mid-air and propell ourselves back to the top... or can we?? in my life, everything, or most, usually ends well, no matter how bad it was... but this time, i'm not sure... because it's not up to me... i didn't want to jump... but i had to do it...

Now it makes me wonder... what would i be doing, feeling right now if it wasn't for them?? would i be the person i am today, or that girl from five years ago?? would i be here on my bed typing this, or would i be typing something happier?? something so small can change a person... looking back, if i were to have chosen the roads which i didn't take, i can imagine how different i would become from the person i am now...

Looking back, i chose the roads less chosen, and i do not regret it at all... because they were all my choices, my decisions... like my favourite saying,

" The only things you regret in life are the risks you didn't take..."

Has anyone seen a bunny who's short and looks like he's from Seattle around here somewhere??
Cause one of my bunny is missing...

Recognition...

2009-10-23T23:12:00.003+08:00

RECOGNITION... is it really that important?? must all the work and creation of someone be appreciated and awarded?? should we put pride in our projects??

At first i thought that it doesn't matter if the rest of the world do not like our ideas or project... it doesn't matter as long as we are proud of ourselves, for achieving what we thought was the best we could do... we only have to answer to ourselves and no one else... but the truth is, even if you do not expect recognition, your competitors will expect that you want it too...

But having Recognition taken away is different... tonight i felt that kind of feeling... the feeling of having something which is rightfully yours being taken away... yes... "pat zi ze pat zui"... but still... the feeling of not knowing... is also hard to bear... but, what the heck... i don't know what to feel or do... haih... some people really have thick skin... in this situation, i blame myself for not having thicker skin...

Hmmm... COURAGE... another quality i have to work on then... the courage to confront people... the courage to be humiliated... the courage to stand my ground even if everyone says i'm wrong...

To the people who have given up fighting because of what i have said, i'm sorry... it is me who did not have the courage to stand up and fight for what we thought was right... i persuaded you guys into believing that we were wrong and others were right... next time, we are going to fight till the end... and even if we lose, we lose with our heads held high, satisfied with the war we lost...

Well, it's better to fight the war and lose than to never fight at all... another lesson learned...

~Jay, What Time Is It Now??~
Time stopped at 1:59PM

Weekend...

2009-10-10T12:20:00.003+08:00

Who can ever imagine weekends to be so restless... isn't it supposed to be a time to relax and not think about anything work or school related?? no... the drama just continues... it's never rest time in University... it's just one scene after another and another... again & again & again...

Life's but a walking shadow
a poor player that struts and frets its hour upon the stage
and then is heard no more
it is a tale told by an idiot
full of sound and fury
signifying nothing.

~William Shakespeare~

Reminds me of this beloved poem we all learned in Form 1... life is but a stage... but every life is a different performance... some are plays, some are musicals, while others may be orchestras or even rock concerts... some are stories that never cease to amaze, some leaves you in tears while some are so unbearable you leave the performance half way through...

If i were to summarize my life as a stage, it would be a orchestra... so many players, sometimes more than ever needed... the pieces keep changing, every one with it's own story to be told... interpretations of every piece may differ from one listener to another, only the composer knows the true meaning behind every note and tune... all controlled by a faceless conductor, intentions unknown...

So that's my life... what is yours?? a rock concert, or a thriller movie?? no matter how bad the story or storyline is written, the story must have an ending... sometimes they say it's already written... but not in this technological era... today, life is not a stage... it's satellite television... you can change the channel anytime... you only have to look for the missing remote control...

~I miss my Wild Bunnies~
When will it be 2:00PM again??

Messy...

2009-09-30T23:17:00.008+08:00

Feel the need to clean my bed... can finally sense the urgency to do so... it's in such a horrible, messy, unorganized state i don't even have the words to accurately describe it... argh... when should i do it?? tomorrow morning then... but it would get messy and cluttered again... i wonder what will happen if i don't clean it up... oh yeah... mum will grumble and nag and scold and finally i'm forced to clean it up... what is the difference??

[Yup... that's my bed... thankful that its a Queen sized one... oh and the bear's name is Mr. President... my brother named it... kinda suits it cause it rules my bed when i'm staying at the hostel...]

[A close up shot at the clutter i sleep with every night... can you spot my DBSK and F4??]

So long...

2009-09-30T21:45:00.004+08:00

It has been so long since i've updated my blog... been really busy, or just lazy?? a little of both i say... so many things have happened during this time... lawsuit, departure, petitions, protests... not really about me but these things have made an impact on me in a way...

Once again the feeling of missing water after it's gone hit me... made me think if there are anymore people i take for granted, anyone who i am not appreciating enough while they are here... will i miss them after they are gone??

Cherishing and remembering a person after he or she has left... does it matter?? is it already too late?? "i miss you" - these three words... is it that hard to say?? can these three words turn back time and give me a chance of redemption - to repair and renew relationships which were lost and damaged due to the heat of the moment and the passing of time...

If only i had a little more courage... if only...

1:59PM is missing 1 minute~I'll be waiting for you cause that's all I can do~

Reminiscing The Good Times...

2009-08-17T15:43:00.003+08:00

Uploading pictures taken in Form Six... suddenly i feel that i miss Form 6 so much... things are so much different in university... really wished Form 6 never ended... haih...

I miss sitting beside Chia, my class partner since Form 4...
Thengy who does everything in fast motion...
Yokie's "do you miss me??" every morning...
Honey's scribbling and weird laughter...
The sounds of Shirley's shouts when we get too noisy...
Sue's pale, zombie-like face in the morning...
Mel's robustness...
Mei's blurness...
SieYong's eternal love for Jacky Cheung...

I miss how we always sing in class...
Fangirl about DBSK...
Make so much noise till next block can hear...
How we eat and sleep in class...
The times i rule the library...
How Pn. Ling has been more than a teacher to us...
How Ms. Chan keeps nagging at us to do our assignment...
The way Mr. Teng calls us 'cha bo' or "ey... you so pretty la..." or "yo... lu kao boh sui lo..."
All the class parties we held for no reason...

Haih... they're all gone now... we can't turn back time, nor can time repeat itself... the only thing we can do now is to take a moment and just recall those wonderful times embedded deep within our minds and hearts...

Anyway, check out the album i created just for this purpose... it's on my profile in Facebook...

I really treasure the great times i had in Form Six... to those of you who were there, thank you so much for making that time the best time of my life... MISS you girls so much...

Kamsa hamnida... Saranghae yongwonhi~~

Kem Belantara Elit , Kuala Nerang

2009-08-14T19:54:00.002+08:00

I'm never going to go to any camp again... it's not camp... it's torture... so we took off from USM at 10am on Friday, 7th July 2009... the bus we were assigned was good... a double decker with powerful air-cond... the ride to Kem Belantara Elit was really comfortable... till we reached Alor Setar... when it started to pour... heavily... when we reached Kuala Nerang, the roads were already hidden under muddy flood waters... not a really welcoming sight...

[Waiting for the bus to camp... full of spirit??]

Then, we reached our beloved camp... ran in the rain to the hall... got wet, obviously... at least the facilitators let us wear our slippers... we had quite a comfortable evening, with minimal outdoor activity (only pitched our tent)... i actually slept in a tent... can you believe it?? till after dinner when the ice-breaking session started... some crappy activities which i felt did not really help break the ice... at 12am, we were sent to bed... then i was hit with a dillema... shud i go bathe or not?? the bathrooms were full and there were speculations of a night walk... at last, i just roughly clean myself...

[Entrance to the camp... was kind of relieved it's a rubber estate and not the forest]

So the nightmare begins... i went to sleep... for 2 hours till we were all awoken by the sound of a siren... stupid... there really is a night walk... haih... here we go... through the rubber estate... over the ex-paddy fields... urgh... i lost count the number of times my foot got stuck in the mud... the number of times i almost tripped... thankfully, the moon was quite bright that night... litted up the sky so at least i could see where we were going... after 3 hours of trekking through rough terrain, it finally ended... and the cleaning began... washing my shoes, pants, and finally myself... waited for the bathroom for like an hour... by the time i entered the bathroom, it was already 6am, Saturday... quickly bathed, and went back to the tent to sleep... for half an hour...

At 6.30am, woke up because of... guess what... the siren of course... did morning excercises which i think was useless in energizing us... breakfast then games... surprisingly, i did not felt as tired as i thought i would have felt... then another nightmare... survival cooking... i can't even cook... how can i survive... but no need to wait till the actual cooking... terror striked when... SURPRISE... the chinese girl in each platoon are supposed to catch the LIVE chicken... WTH!!! uttering all kinds of curses i went forth and just did it... fortunately i did not have to actually run after the chicken... the facilitators just hand the thing over to me... ewww... after that, the whole cooking session have nothing to do with me... just had a little part in helping the guys start the fire... then when the others were cooking, i was just squatting somewhere, tears flowing from my eyes... cause the smoke was unbearable...

Had no part in eating the food too... too scary... gueass what they did to the chicken... my group boil the chicken, marinate then roasted it... erm... did it work... hell NO... so when the food was ready, i was in the tent... sleeping... after the cookout, everything is a blur... i think we had station games... then at night we had a performance... every platoon was really good... humorous and meaningful... except mine... sang some songs, that's all... then off to 'bed' we went...

[Taking a break from the Survival Cooking... so pityful]

The next day, spirits were up... we are all going HOME... but not before some boring activities... which were held in the hall... haha... opportunity to sleep... and that was exactly what i did through all the activities on the third day... sleep sleep sleep... our last meal at camp... was the best... the drink did not taste weird and they gave us beef to eat... we were all so happy... finally going home...

Till we went up the bus... disappointment... the bus was so 'lan'... air-cond don't work... so hot... haih... doesn't really matter... slept the whole way back... reached DUP, waited for parents... my mum just told me that she couldn't recognise me that day... i look too horrible... so sad... haih... so glad it's over... i'm so going to pamper myself this holiday... taking the toll physically...

Suicide...

2009-08-05T12:05:00.001+08:00

My phone DIED...

Need i say more??

Emotionally Unstable...

2009-07-26T10:57:00.003+08:00

Can one really get to know a person in 30 days? how much time do we need to really get to fully trust someone else? that's why i don't really like changes... i can cope well but it just annoys me sometimes... i'm feeling so messed up now... my heart is beating so fast and it just won't calm down... anxiety about not knowing what will happen tomorrow is just killing me...

I don't know if i've said this before but my coolness comes from my ability to predict what will probably happen in a situation... but when the factors involved are new and unpredictable, i can't see what will happen... it really gets on my nerve when there is something that i do not know... i don't like to be in a situation where i'm caught surprised and have to make a spontaneous decision...

Haih... it's so hard starting a new chapter... especially without those i really truly trust and love here with me... i'm so tired... not physically or mentally but emotionally... feeling so many negative emotions now... the only thing i can predict is that there's going to be more emotional swings coming... to everyone reading this, please be careful when i'm having one of my 'days'... it's going to get very ugly...

My Day...

2009-07-25T16:21:00.004+08:00

Almost forgot...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Haha... i'm officially 19 now... it feels like i have been 18 for so long... i wonder how 19 will feel... as much as i wanna be 21, i don't wanna hit the twenties... very afraid of the 2 in front... haha...

The Worst Day Ever...

2009-07-25T16:15:00.003+08:00

I know this is late but the 23rd of July was really the worst day ever... nothing went right... was so frustrated i wanted to bang my head on the wall... haih... thank god it's over...

Head Banging...

2009-07-22T13:17:00.002+08:00

Argh... really hate my hostel... INTERNET SUCKS... feel like banging my head on the wall... but that won't make any difference to the line right?? STUPID...

Thengie says she wanna jump off the Singapore bridge... no electricity?? everyone seems to wanna commit suicide... haih... what's happening???

Stupidity Killed ME...

2009-07-18T22:50:00.001+08:00

So stupid... i accidently deleted some gadgets and settings in my blog... even my cbox is gone... so irritating... have to go find it back...

Day By Day

2009-07-16T19:46:00.002+08:00

Ah... so bored... disappointed that my room has no wifi... but good also, if not, i'll be online 24/7... at the 'garden' near the cafeteria now to online... i think i should go compile my notes now... have medical check up tomorrow at 5pm but class ends at 12pm... i'm asking my mum to take me home first... suggested that i drive my way back for my appointment but as usual, mum don't let... so see how la...

Yesterday was supposed to be my interview to be an Officer Cybersaujana (Computer Room)... unfortunately, they placed the interview somewhere i couldn't find... Bilik Srikandi Saujana... where on earth is that??? i searched around the block for like 15 minutes then gave up and went back to my room...

Was really stupid... saved manga and all the USM things into the pendrive but forgot about all my songs... thankfully, my laptop has bluetooth so i transfered all the songs from my phone to my laptop... muahaha... i can't believe i even miss Big Bang...

Anyway, USM is really just a school... unlike SGGS, i feel like that really was my second home... sleep there, bathe there, play there... it's like we rule the place... but here, there's no feeling of 'Home'... even my room just feels like a hostel...

Haih... i really miss everyone and all the things which i took forgranted... you don't miss water till it's gone... it's really true... how long is this going to last?? will i ever find a new 'home'?? ahh...

I just miss you girls sooooo MUCH...

Wanna have BBQ n go Seoul Garden together... Sushi is not as nice without you guys... Anyway, Bon Odori is the day after tomorrow...

After Love

2009-07-16T19:14:00.000+08:00

So many empty promises...
So many broken ones...
So many lies...

Modu tta kojimariya
Tta kojimariya
Noui modu tta kojimariya

Uni Life is Crazy...

2009-07-15T13:12:00.002+08:00

i miss Form six when i can sleep in class... here got no proper tables and the chairs are uncomfortable... in the Dewan Kuliah some more so cold... it's assignments after assignments... it just never ends... and in my school we have to blog about everything we learn... but then, what really do we learn in just 3 hours of lecture???

back in school, i'm always the last minute person... or i just don't do my homework... but here, everyone seems to leave their work till the very last minute... like everyone is competing to be the last person to start their work...

ah... i miss home, i miss form six, i miss my friends, i miss my car, i miss youtube, i miss DBSK, i miss 2pm, i miss tv... haih... staying in hostel, there's nothing else to do but study...

i can't wait for all this to be over...

Orientation Week

2009-07-05T12:39:00.002+08:00

It started on the 27th of June when i registered at USM... was about to head for Saujana when my parents realized i forgot my pillow and bedsheet... and so the rushing began...

Orientation week was not bad actually... a lot of pointless talks and LOTS LOTS LOTS of WALKING!!! it's so crazy... from Saujana to DTSP it takes me 30 minutes just to walk there... after the first day, my legs ached already... but by the third day, we became used to it... now my leg hurts no more and my calf have become more solid... hehe...

But honestly, all those talks and walking really made me tired and sleepy... thanks to that, i was able to sleep at night... something i initially thought impossible... no air-con, no bolster, no queen sized bed... when you're sleepy and worn out, you won't even notice if you're sleeping in a garbage dump...

The food i have consumed in my first week in USM was not really praisable... for me, it was just food... for the first time, i made my own mee cup... i've actually never made mee cup before... haih... that's what you get for being too pampered... i really did not want to eat mee cup but had to because of the amount of people at the cafe...

The seniors at USM were really helpful... patiently guiding us and all... kudos to them... other fellow first years were really nice too... doesn't matter who, we can just start a topic like that... orientation week is really a time where you get to mingle with people from the same hostel or students from other schools... after this week, we'll probably be meeting our coursemates more than anyone else...

Yeah... so that's basically my first week in USM... nothing much... i have some pictures but i'm too lazy to upload it now... so next time then...

I really really MISS 2PM and DBSK and EVERYONE else...

Spring Clean At Grandma's...

2009-06-17T17:48:00.005+08:00

Last Friday, since it was still the holidays, my mum decided to bring us all to my grandma's place to help clean her house... it was actually 4th Aunt's idea... so me, along with my mum, 2 brothers, 2nd and 4th Aunt went back to clean grandma's house...

Our main mission was to sell off the newspapers... so we brought it down from upstairs and placed it outside... well, i was stationed outside to bring the newspaper out so that the others do not have to wear shoes and take them off again...

We completed it in around 2 hours... the total weight of newspapers, 930 kg... sold at a total price of RM 205... this is just amazing...

~ All the newspaper we collected~

~ The uncle loading all the newspaper into the lorry~

My arm ached after completing everything... and continued to ache for two days after...

Holiday...

2009-06-17T17:28:00.004+08:00

Same like all my other post, this one is obviously late again... well, i think there's something wrong with the title because it was not really holiday for me, more for my brothers... anyway, i'll just name it 'Holiday' because i'm out of ideas...

I didn't do much during the holidays because my brothers were hogging the computer... but i hung out at Queens and managed to watch two movies, the first one is Monsters vs Aliens which i watched with my cousin... after the movie we went into Nichii and tried dresses for fun... and i really liked one which i tried.... a gold long dress... i was really nice... made me look 'expensive'... haha... unfortunately, it was a little too short and i did not have any dinners coming up, plus it was a little pricey... so i did not buy it...

~The dress i liked~

The second movie i watched was Night At The Museum 2 with Thengie and Shirley... i drove to Queens alone for the first time... haha... there was one interesting thing which happened right before we entered the theater... well, we were all in the toilet and i was in the cubicle doing my business... when i was done, i opened the door and find a guy in front of me... i was so shocked and a hundred thoughts went through my mind... i actually wanted to scold him "if you wanna wait for your girlfriend, please wait outside"... thankfully i didn't... because as i was walking towards the sink, a thought hit me... that the 'guy' is actually a GIRL... duh... i wonder who's problem is it...

Sick...

2009-06-10T20:08:00.004+08:00

Fell ill two days ago... started off with stomach cramp which i thought will go off but didn't... i ended up throwing up everything i ate during the day... didn't even get to sleep because the pain was unbearable...

Was feeling better yesterday but ate only a little (consumed 2 cans of 100 plus... thank god for isotonic drinks...) and slept the whole day because of the lack of sleep during the night...

I'm alright now though... but not daring to eat too much... and still feel like puking every time i swallow something... i wanna eat chocolates badly... haih...

My brothers are on holiday and are hogging the computer...
I feel so lonely and bored without seeing 2PM... i miss them...

2PM jjang!!
Chansung Hwaiting!!

Surprise...

2009-05-31T21:08:00.005+08:00

SURPRISE!!!

I've been accepted to USM... Architecture... the course i want...
Don't feel comfortable about it though... like i feel it's not my fate to be here...
Wanna explore the world... Penang is getting tiresome...
Anyway... the fact is that i'm not going anywhere...
And my Mum just won the LOTTERY...

To all my friends who are leaving...
Please don't forget me... ask me out sometimes when you guys are back...

Ahhh... feel really lonely now...
Penang will never be the same without you guys...

I'll miss all of you...
COME BACK YA???

The Future Is Approaching...

2009-05-26T16:21:00.007+08:00

Oh no... there's only 1 week more till the USM application results are out... i'm not getting architecture so i can just forget all about it... it is also one month till the UPU results are out... it's kind of definite... i'm leaving Penang... i'm leaving home...

Just ONE more month...

I'm freaking out...

HELP ME!!!

Interviews...

2009-05-26T14:34:00.004+08:00

Well, this happened some time back, like a month already but as usual i'm so slow in reporting... i'm just so LAZY and too absorbed with Youtube... so only now, i report my experiences during my interviews at UTM, UKM and USM...

UTM
Ok, so i check online whether i have been called for an interview for the UTM architecture course or not, and found out that i have been called... the interview was to be held in UTM City Campus, KL (thank God it's not the main campus in Johor) on the 21st of April 2009... it was a Tuesday... so i went down to KL on Monday evening (my dad drove) and woke up REALLY early on Tuesday to head downtown... reached the campus fairly early, well before the interview time of 8am... well, once there all i had to do was wait and eavesdrop... it was really interesting listening to other people's conversations... some were informative while others were plain funny... at first, i was a little intimidated... most of the early birds were guys and at one point the ratio of guys and girls attending the interview was hugely imbalanced... it may not be strange to most people but after studying in an all-girls school for so long, i became quite uncomfortable... the other thing was that everyone was speaking in Mandarin... i can understand Mandarin quite well but i cannot converse properly in the language so i ended up standing by myself in a corner while others mixed around...

And so we waited and waited and waited... finally at 9am, exactly an hour late, the interviewers arrived... after some troubles with finding the keys to the rooms and halls, we finally settled down to take our drawing test... at first i was quite confident... i mean i took Art lessons... what could go wrong?.. plus, i overheard one of the guys saying confidently that we are just supposed to draw basic shapes like the sphere or cube... nothing hard... oh how wrong he was... the first question of the test was to draw your favourite street, complete with buildings, vehicles, people and foilage, worth 20 marks... so, skip the first question... hoping the questions will get easier, i attempted the next question... as hard... so were the next and next and next... but fortunately, i managed to finish everything on time, eventhough my answers were definitely WRONG...

After the test we waited for our turns to be interviewed... so i stood at my corner eavesdropping again... there were 2 interview rooms and i was lucky to be one of the firsts to be interviewed... well, actually, the interviews aren't those formal ones we always see on tv... it was kind of like meeting new friends, the interviewers just want to get to know you better... the questions weren't very difficult to answer but i got my tongue tied in knots when they requested me to speak in BM... it's not that i can't but i'm not that fluent and it's a little rusty... i explained the features in my favourite street and the interviewers told me that my drawing was not good enough... they asked me if i could touch up my drawing and i am very happy they gave me the chance to... so after i finished touching up my drawing, i returned it to them and got the hell out of there...

UKM
the interview in UKM was on the same week as the UTM one... on Saturday, in UKM Bangi... as i went home after the UTM interview, i had to travel down KL again for this interview... the UKM interview was scheduled at 10am so i didn't have to wake up that early... at the campus, my dad and i had trouble searching for the entrance to the faculty... we went to the back door... so went i arrived at the registering counter, everyone was already lining up to get into the hall... when everyone was in the hall, the coordinators gave us a short briefing on how the interview was going to be conducted, bla bla bla... and they also commented about our dressing... actually, i was kind of shocked too... during the UTM interview, everyone was formally dressed... even the girls wore office shirts and some of the guys came with ties... the UKM dressing was chaotic, highlighted by two blonde-haired girls wearing fitting t-shirt and skinny jeans, complete with a mini handbag... certainly an outfit fit for the pasar malam...

After the briefing, we changed location to one of the computer labs to start our test... after explaining the questions and arguing over the language used and time limit, we finally begin our test... there were only 2 questions, the first being: draw a building or monument inspired by one or more of these pictures-a tree, a car, dolphins in the sea, a model modeling batik... the second question was just to write all you know about architecture... after all i've been through in UTM, this was far better so i answered with relative ease...

After the test, what else could we do but wait for our names to be called for the interview?.. while i waited, this one guy approached me and we talked... we had met during the UTM interview so that got us discussing about the courses and what happened to each other during the interview... after quite a long wait (i'm not so lucky this time), i went in for the interview... before going into the room, they had us go through a colour blind test... and honestly, i really couldn't see one of it, but managed to pull it out somehow... the interview was not formal again, as expected... but compared to the UTM one, this was far easier... they asked me to present my drawing and just asked straight forward questions... i think the whole interview was just 5 to 10 minutes and it was all over... i got out of the room, bid my new friend goodbye and hit the highway, searching for something to eat...

USM
Unfortunately, or maybe it's just fate, i was called for an interview from USM but not architecture... i got my second choice, interior design... the sms came really last minute, on Friday evening and the interview was on Monday morning... thank God i live in Penang... but as it was already practically a weekend, i couldn't anything and just decide to just go for the interview... on Monday, i woke up early n went to USM... no probable way of getting lost even inside the campus as i am quite familiar with it by now... headed straight for the HBP faculty and there, i met again with the guy from UTM and UKM and also another girl from UTM... so we just hung around waiting for time and found out that i was the only one left out for architecture (sad)...

At 8am, the doors of the halls were opened and we were let in... but not before something caught my eyes... there was this guy standing at a corner who looks really like Kim Hyung Joon from SS501... i was really really shocked... he was so handsome but like all Malaysian guys, there's always something missing... he was not as tall as i liked him to be... oh well... but i found out that he was there for the quantity surveying interview... haih... i hope i get to meet him again... so we entered the hall and the briefing began... there were a few useful information this time like the results of the USM application will be announced on the first week of June...

After the lecture, we were ushered to one of the studios for our drawing test... as the test i did was for interior design, i cannot compare it to the others which i have taken, but it honestly, it was the easiest ever... the question was just to redesign the interior of the room we are sitting in now (the studio)... while we were busily drawing (i can't believe how much my hand trembled when i was drawing... i couldn't even draw a straight line... it wasn't even hard and they gave us plenty of time... why were my hands trembling??), the lectures for the architecture course explained the question for architecture... the question was something like draw a monument on an island with a bridge, bla bla bla... it was though... at that moment, i was thankful i am not the one facing that question...

After the test, we waited AGAIN for the interview session... AGAIN, it was not formal... asked some simple questions and some not so simple ones... i felt the interviewers and i had a pretty good time discussing some stuff... and i found out that they are interested in the Twilight series... hmm... i didn't really take the interview too seriously... the course was not what i wanted... i just feel guilty because the interviewers were really nice... it's easy to hurt the people you hate than hurt the people you love... haih... anyway, my mum's hopes of me staying in Penang is literally over...

Conclusion
Well, there's a week left till the USM results are being announced... i've told my parent that no matter what course USM is offering me, as long as it is not architecture, i'm going to reject it... so now, we're basically getting ready to leave Penang... i'm hoping i get UTM... not because i want to leave home but UTM's architecture course is the only one which is 5 years straight without a break in between... i like that... i don't want to go through the interview process again to continue to Part 2... i HOPE i get UTM...

The only things in life you regret are the risks you didn't take.

It Takes A Lot...

2009-05-09T15:50:00.007+08:00

-Post Deleted-

All that don't matter now. I'm smart, i'm beautiful, i'm tall, i'm cute, i'm funny, i'm weird, i'm stubborn, i'm obnoxious, i'm vain, i'm crazy and i'm PERFECT...
I'm just the person i want myself to be...

Results Out... One Week Ago...

2009-03-18T14:48:00.006+08:00

Phew... it has been one week since my STPM results came out... and perhaps some people may think that i deliberately delay announcing my results (because it's something not to be celebrated about) ... but the truth is that i'm really very lazy... hehe...

So... back to my results... *drumroll*... 1A, 3B+ and 1B-... giving me a CGPA of 3.50... i know my results sound terrible, but if you see it from the CGPA point of view, it really isn't too bad... right?? Anyway, i only managed to ace Pengajian Am... missed out an A in Computing, so it is kind of disappointing (sorry, Mr. Teng... but the paper was really difficult!!!)... i kind of expecting some kind of a B for Physics, so no real surprise... what did shock me was Maths and Arts... i thought i would get a C, or worse, fail... so i'm a little relieved... i was hoping Arts would help me, but obviously it didn't... haih...

But overall, i'm quite satisfied with my results... i mean, i got what i deserved... my mum keeps nagging because she doesn't think i did my best, and well, i don't think i did too... oh, well... no use crying over spilled milk... and to those out there who are or are going to comment about my results or the examination, if you have not experience this first hand, please do not do so... i'm completely satisfied with my results and have no regrets regarding it at all...

**********WARNING**********

If you do not know me well enough, well, i'm a girl who is strong headed (in other words... STUBBORN) and will not change my decisions, feelings or opinions just because of a few words some people say... let me warn you... DO NOT waste your breath and words on me because it WILL NOT change anything... and worse, if your choice of words or tone is not right, you might even recieve a really painful backlash of words... believe me, for someone whose results do not show much, i have a very sharp tongue... step on my tail and let the war of words begin... and guess what...

I HAVE NEVER LOST...

Boys Over Flowers

2009-03-06T10:11:00.015+08:00

Wow... it's so long since i logged in here... too lazy and caught up in watching dramas online... what dramas??? Boys Over Flowers (kkotboda namja 꼿보다 남자) of course...

Well, this drama is actually the korean version of Hana Yori Dango (Japanese Version) and Meteor Garden (Taiwanese Version)... i'm currently watching the recent episodes online and also watching it all over again on kbs world (kbs world on astro is slower than kbs2 in korea)... and i must say that the guys of the Korean F4 are the best looking ones... hahaha... i love Lee MinHo... anyway, since the latest eipsode is not out yet, i'll just satisfy myself with introducing the cast of this drama... haha... EYE CANDY!!! *nosebleed, faints*

First up is Goo Hye Sun as the lead actress Geum Jan Di...

Next is Lee Min Ho as F4 leader and heir of Shinhwa Group, Goo Jun Pyo...

Kim Hyun Joong of SS501 as one of F4's member, Yoon Ji Hoo...

Kim Bum as F4 member and playboy potter, Seo Yi Jung...

Kim Joon as the other F4 playboy member, Song Woo Bin...

Haih... isn't this enough to make people watch this show?? anyway, this drama is really worth watching... good looking actors, great story line, lavish cars and clothes, evil witch, monkey... haha... just go watch the show and you'll know what i'm talking about...

K... that's all for now... can't wait till the final episode but don't want it to end... haih...

i LOVE Lee Min Ho!!!

Bring On The Waves...

2009-01-22T13:04:00.012+08:00

Four days till Chinese New Year!!! Really can't wait... making all the preparations... the most major... curling my hair... after having straight hair all my life, i really wanted curly hair for a change... why??... nobody would believe this but actually my reason for wanting curly hair is to look older... haha... funny right??... would a girl ever say that??... but seriously, with my straight hair, i look really young if you only look at my face... and when i speak you would definitely label me childish... so hopefully my new curly hair would make me look more mature... wanna see me now??... here's the before and after pictures...

Before:..................................After:

So... how is it??... it's kinda messy... i think... it really takes a lot of maintenance... and i can't comb my hair anymore (one of my favourite things to do)... but i'm ok with the results... look more mature right??... haha... well... tell me what you think...

Afterglow...

2009-01-08T13:34:00.007+08:00

We were driving back from Perak last week and it happened to be sunset when we crossed the Penang Bridge... Couldn't help but take a picture...

Afterglow (Picture Of you):

geude wiro to-orun taeyang mankum;
nuni bushini gasumuro kidaryeojun;
shigan mankum neol nega jikyeojulke;
kidohan modun kumi;
ganjeolhan ne hyangiro nama;
uri hyanghe isseo;
More than the air i breathe;

Preparing For Chinese New Year...

2009-01-08T13:22:00.005+08:00

Well, i've been shopping a lot and have bought a lot of clothes for the new year... my wardrobe is filled with pink and red shirts already... but as always, i find getting shoes which fit me a little difficult... (SIZE 9??!! oh sorry we don't have...)

Fortunately for me, i found a pair of Pink sandals at the market yesterday... thank God they had size 40...

# Pink Shoes #

My new Pink Shoes to match my Pink Bag which i bought from the market two weeks ago...

# Pink Bag #

Now, i'm all ready for the new year... haha...

Another Birthday...

2009-01-08T12:59:00.008+08:00

This time, it's my maternal Grandma's Birthday... there isn't much fuss about this, since all my aunts and uncles from my mother's side are staying in Penang... so we just have to go to the restaurant... where else other than Seasons? (again... twice in two weeks... that must have been some record)...

This time was different though... we requested a room with a karaoke set... mostly old songs but it was enough to satisfy my cousins and aunts who keep repeating 'Dancing Queen'... and my uncles who love Jacky Cheung...

We started the night by taking family photographs... caused some confusion among the restaurant staff because nobody wanted to take a seat at the table... we were just running amock and they don't know if they should serve us food already...

# whole family photo - not going to name everybody #

And the prettiest photo taken on that day goes to...

... my Grandma and her twelve grandchildren...
# me (eldest) with ray (youngest) - so cute!!! #

Cameron Highlands... Again...

2009-01-08T11:52:00.022+08:00

Yup... one week after my Grandpa's Birthday Celebration, my parents, brothers and i set out to Cameron Highlands... i've been there a year ago with my friends and a bunch of other people, but the biggest difference was this time, it was peak period... one year ago i would have never believe that Cameron could get so crowded... and guess what... i found out i have car sickness... the winding roads there just took the fun out of everything...

On the first day, we went to the Boh Tea Plantation via winding roads and had a cup of tea...

Then, we went to the Bee Farm where i almost got into hysteria...

Later, we went to the pasar malam there, got some food and marvelled at the beautiful moon...

The next day, my dad woke us up to watch the sunrise but obviously i continued sleeping...

After breakfast we found this giant pumpkin...

#Hmm... bippiti boppiti boo... haih... nothing happened...#

Then we went to the Boh Tea Factory to see exactly how tea is made... ARGHH... major headache...

# the sight of the award winning building temporarily cured my aching head #

# At the tea making factory #

After that was the Mossy Forest... not for the faint hearted... to my dad's friend who recommended this, you owe me big time...

Back at the hotel, we played pool...

Then tried monkey bars...

# Ow... now not only my head hurts, my arms too... #

Last morning at Cameron...

# Family photo #

What have we gained from this trip:

No more trips to Cameron
A battered car
Car sickness
2 bonsai plants
6 cactuses
A whole lot of memories

Grandpa's Birthday...

2009-01-08T11:13:00.013+08:00

This actually happened on the 6th of December... but being the slowpoke that i am, i'm writing this one month later... hehe... so on the 5th of December, most of my beloved family from KL came to my humble sanctuary in Penang... then we went shopping(Gurney)!!! it seems customary for my aunts to shop in Penang... hmmm...

On day 2 (6th December 2008), it's Queensbay this time but have to rush home for the big dinner... Reached home and stared at the clock stupidly coz i ended up with half an hour to bathe, apply make-up and look stunning... impossible... well, i managed to do everything, except try on my newly bought fake eyelashes... haha... it still needs some experiment...

# me~jun~josey~ #

So we arrived for dinner at Seasons Restaurant... unfortunately, Grandpa had a bout of stomach discomfort... although it did dampen the mood a little with everyone worried about our main cast, we did not cease to enjoy ourselves and the food, which goes wasted every year...

# grandma~grandpa #

Nevertheless, it was still a successful family gathering for the Moey family... Can't WAIT for Chinese New Year!!!

Good Morning :-)

2009-01-07T21:54:00.004+08:00

Hmm... well, i was just wondering (ok i'm lying... something really pissed me off)... you know how it's in the morning and it is a custom for everyone to greet everyone else a good morning... but what if you don't feel good that morning? Can you bring yourself to lie and say "Good Morning"??

Well, i don't know about you but i can't lie to myself and wish someone "Good Morning" when actually i don't mean it... seriously, just imagine yourself having to wake up at six in the morning, get ready in half an hour, drive half-awake, and still have to walk five minutes to your final destination... do you call that a good morning? uh-no... not for me, at least...

So knowing my morning, would someone still wish me good morning? well, yes... to that someone, it seems polite... but have that person thought about the insincere, half-hearted reply i was going to give and have given? i guess not...

Well, in the end, my morning had just gotten worse... feeling guilty about giving a meaningless reply... that's just great... next time, ladies and gentlemen, before wishing others a good morning, why not just ask that person how he or she feels first before wishing? not only will it stike up some conversation but maybe you could help them as well...

In conclusion, no more 'Good Mornings'... i don't like it... haha...

Seriously...

When Freedom Comes, So Does Boredom...

2009-01-07T21:04:00.004+08:00

Hah!!! STPM is over at last... well, over for a month that is... but i've just been horribly busy (or L.A.Z.Y) to update my blog... now i've really settled into my post-exam mood... the feeling of happiness and relief are fading and now i'm kinda feeling hopeless, like i'm wasting away my time and brain cells watching foreign gameshows and wierd dramas... unfortunately, i love them... haha... there's so much i want to do but all the those things are just for entertainment and are seriously a waste of brain cells... haih...

MUET Results

2008-07-16T18:43:00.003+08:00

Got my MUET results today... it's exactly what i expected... so no surprises...
Band 5... not bad right??
The problem is... i needed another 7 points to band 6...
Haih... it would be better if i had not known my total marks...
But still, OK la...

Doushite??

2008-07-16T18:15:00.008+08:00

Aaarrrrggghhh!!!!!!
I'm just soooooooo angry... i just don't know who to blame... is it me or someone or something else??
There are a lot of things that i know i can do and achieve... but why is there always someone or something in front of me, preventing my progress or achievements??
Why is this world so unfair?? Can't anyone just be fair and treat everyone equally??
Maybe it is my fault, but what is it that i can't be as good as the rest??
Why is it always me who have to be the almost-perfect one??
I really really hate this feeling of being there but not there yet...
Like there's wonderful delicious food on the table but not being able to reach it because there's a glass walls around it...
And the worst part is that everyone around you are satisfied with normal ordinary food and telling you how good it tastes...
When you know that if you could just find a door through the wall, you would be eating fabulous, delicious food...
Uurrghh... i'm so frustrated... just wanna relax but i really can't get it out of my mind...

Why... Why... Why...

DOUSHITE??????

I'm so sad... T.T

Poise and Perfection

2008-06-22T21:22:00.006+08:00

Arrived at E&O Hotel at 6.30 pm... Not a lot of people there yet so just walk here walk there... then when the gang came, we took lots of pictures lo... beach side... so very nice... at around 8, we were ushered into the ballroom di... food is not at 5 star hotel standard (too bad)... performance ok nia... the whole thing ended at 11... sharp... haih... lidat only lo...

What I Really Think:
I feel like the whole prom this year is just like a more formal dinner with friends... not much glamour or that 'prom' feel to it... plus... it's really really expensive...

Some pictures to share:
#Me... I think i smile too weirdly...#

#My classmates... without Mei... :( #

Taiwan Trip (A Year Ago)

2007-11-02T21:36:00.000+08:00

Well, it has been a long time so i dun think i really remember that much, so i'll just summarise the whole thing...

So we headed for the airport in the afternoon around 2 (i think)... Got onto the plane (China Air... damn the vibration)... After 4 and a half hours lidat, we reached TAIWAN!! Was already quite late (around 7) got on the bus and headed to the airport... It was quite a scary experience sitting on the bus cos the trafic was the other way round... i was sitting on the left side of the bus and was really shocked to see other cars overtaking from the left side of the road... i was like

"What the heck?? Why r u guys overtaking on the left??"

Then after awhile, i realised that in Taiwan they drive on the wrong side of the road... And start banging my head against the window...We reached the hotel (an ordinary one, not like the ones u find n Penang), checked in and walked to a nearby 'pasar malam' (Taiwanese actually know what is pasar malam!!<<--my bus driver used this phrase), and had chicken mee for dinner... This experience was quite scary because it's not like here where everyhting is fresh n warm, the chicken was cooked, but kept with blocks of ice... wierd... but it tasted OK... So after dinner we headed back to the hotel n SLEEP...

The next day, we woke up at 7 and ate breakfast in the hotel (breakfast is free but i'd rather go without it... u'll understand by the end of this post)... Then we met with our tourguide (not very pleasant), boarded the bus, tourguide gave long lecture (one beginning with "i don't speak English") and continued our journey to godknowswhere... At godknowswhere, the first place we visited was the coast (i think... whatever)... Then reached Taitung (East) where we ended the day with a cultural dance by a tribe of aborigins...

On the third day, we went up a hill (the only place which was really cold in the middle of December in Taiwan)... The view was fascinating and the air was breathtaking... haha... Took a few pictures then we left that place to look at a bunch of gorges, headed to a small town n into a temple (the architecture was impressive but...)

Do Or Not??

2007-11-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

Do you feel annoyed when somebody does something that is not supposed to be done by him or her? Well, tell u what... i am annoyed... Yes, i admit that i am wrong coz i did not do something on time... But for a person to do it and not tell me... So pissed off man... At least if u told me, i would be really grateful and even thank you for it... But no... He or she didn't tell me anything... And it's supposed to be my job... Haih... Stupid life... WHY WHY WHY...

Mega Move

2007-10-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

Phew... finally moved all my previous blogs from frenster to blogger.... and realised dat there are a lot of things that i meant to blog i didn't blog... like my experience in taiwan and hk... dun worry... it'll be coming... soon... and from now on, i'll end all my blogs with a pic... if not of me, den my husbands la... haha...

Passed Driving Test

2007-09-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

I passed my driving test di... haha... went for test on monday... i was so prepared to retake the test... thank god i didn't need to... i didn't know wat i was doing most of the time... on the road, hill, parking, 3 point turn... like something took over me... well... still... at least i passed... muahaha... anyway... my 'p' licence is ready... but not yet go collect... haih...

How Do You Judge A Book??

2007-09-01T11:06:00.000+08:00

Don't judge a book by its cover... i have always stayed by this proverb and gave eveything a chance before i judge if it is good or bad... or somewhere in the middle... but these days i have discovered that judging a book after reading it may not be right either... you may like some books just after reading a few pages, but then as the storyline progresses, it may become boring or uninteresting... there are some books which are very interesting right up to the very last word, but after some time after you finished the book, you realise that the storyline is just ordinary...
The fact is, no matter how sophisticated the cover... no matter how captivating the storyline... no matter how well you preserve a book... its cover will fade... its pages will turn yellow... and its story lost among all our other memories... or maybe its just that as everyday passes by... we become more mature and gain more experiences... in the end... the magic that captivated us when reading a book just does not seem real anymore... you realise that what the author tried to portray are just lies... no such thing will happen in real life... so now... the book is worthless...
Throw it away... u can't... keep it... u can't either... what should you do??Do you feel like tearing the pages off?Shredding it into a million pieces... or more...Erasing all the words which formed nothing but lies....
How nice if the world are like books...Tear what you don't like...Burn what you don't want to see...Drown what you don't want to hear...
Don't judge a book by its cover...or its contents...Then what can you judge??

What?!*#

2007-08-15T11:04:00.000+08:00

this few weeks is a period of discovering things that i did not know... temepr going up and down... and there are many unanswered questions... do not know wat people are thinking... the best is not to care... but can u ignore it if u hav to go through it everyday?? i know there's a solution.. but i do not dare to do it... where's courage when u need it?? being the optimistic person that i always am, everyone is right until they show me themselves that they are wrong... after that dun even think that i'll giv u another chance... haih... life is so difficult... i'm not living in a world of my own... there are other people with minds of their own... dat's wat makes life difficult... haih... no wonder mind-reading is so popular...

First Driving Lesson

2007-08-15T11:01:00.000+08:00

went for my first driving lesson on sunday... so cool... almost gave instructor heart attack... how would i know that ur suppose to step on the brake slowly?? instructor ask me to step on the brake... i mah step lo... REAL HARD... luck onli in gear one... haha... his reaction when i step was so funny... couldn't help laughing... eventhough he was scolding me... haha... did a few laps in the circuit... and went awhile on the road... i feel i not bad la... at least din knock anything... but the thing i discovered is that sitting in a car while someone else is driving is very different from driving the car yourself... when my parents are driving, i would get very annoyed if somebody in front is driving at 50kph... but when i drove for the first time, i was felt that i was fast, when i'm only in gear one... haih... no one told me driving a manual car can be so tough... anyway... wish me good luck in driving la... hope i pass my practical without failing...

17 Already

2007-07-28T10:59:00.000+08:00

i just opened my blog n just found out dat i haven't been updating it since begining of school... haih... wat kind of blogger am i... haih... anyway... i'm still in Form 6... still coping... my 17th birthday juz came... and gone... haih... 17 already... still feel so immature... don't think i'm ready to grow up any time soon...
anyway... bout school... ntg much la... 2moro last day of test.. got physics teacher hu doesn't know how 2 teach... n being elected as Head Librarian... *proud proud*... haha... no la... like dis only lo...
bout life... boring n sleepy... i really cannot stand waking up early in the morning... one day i'm gonna collapse... n i miss onlining everyday... my dong bang shin ki... i miss changmin... now everytime i on the computer onli kena scold from dad... "yau zoi kau la..." ... haih... i haven't even opened anything...
but... i feel at the end of the day... i realised the only thing dat keeps me going are my cute n pretty bunch of frens... without them... life would be meaningless... n dong bang shin ki 2... can't forget bout them.... can i??
one year older... but still kena tease coz cannot watch rated 18 movies n dun hav driving licence... sien, preeya... i'll remember u guys... age isn't everyting u noe...

Why So "Fan"

2007-05-18T10:58:00.000+08:00

haih... guess wat... when i finally think dat all hope is lost n decided dat my fate is in form 6... a letter came... i'm being accepted into politeknik... dis is just the third day in school but i've already settled down quite nicely... i have all my subjects decided n was really looking forward to my classes... now i have 2 consider this stupid letter again... n dat actually made me doubt myself... again... wat if i dun get straight a's 4 stpm... mah die lo... cannot go in uni... haih...

Form 6 Or Not??

2007-05-10T10:57:00.000+08:00

haih... got letter 2 go F6 today... no other letters... so i guess i'll be going back to F6... haih... oh ya... went 2 register driving licence juz now oso... going 4 first lecture 2moro... hav 2 wake up before 8... die liau la... how can??

Broke My Arm

2007-03-20T10:54:00.000+08:00

Haha... injured my arm last saturday... fell n landed on my arm during badminton... a miracle dat i din really break it... but still... it hurts...oh ya... n bcoz of it, i had my first x-ray... let me tell u... it is not a nice experience having ur arm x-rayed when its broken... believe me... they r not trying 2 diagnose u... they wanna kill u...haih... at least i hav a break from everything... no chores, bla bla... i can't even sleep well at nite... haih... dat's the result of being clumsy n sleepy at the same time...god... i hate my coach...

After SPM

2006-12-16T11:53:00.000+08:00

Haha... SPM over di... so happy... almost got no time 2 rest after SPM coz go holiday... went last thurs... juz got back home today morning... at one o'clock... very tiring... now i'm un-promoting Taiwan... plz... anybody reading dis... if ur planning 2 go there 4 holiday, dun go... not worth it... go Hong Kong instead... it's a lot better... if u wanna noe more bout my trip 2 Taiwan n Hong Kong... my report of it is coming up next... tata...

Do You Hate Yourself??

2006-09-09T10:51:00.000+08:00

Today is the day dat i really got the shock out of my life... somthing dat i did not expect 2 happen did... maybe it's nothing to many people... but to me... it is SOMETHING... i juz never felt like diz before in my whole life... confused, bothered, shocked... haih... let's juz say i dun relly enjoy being hated... no one noes myself better than i... i noe i can be really sarcastic n starght forward most of the time... but i really din mean to hurt anybody... n honestly, i am really scared of hurting sumbody's feelings... everyday i try to give in to everybody, if i can... n usually i am very sure dat i did not harm anyone... it has been my daily routine for years... i dun mind... but it's really hard for me to know dat after all dat u've done to make other people happy... sumone says dat he or she don't like you... i noe i'm not the easiest person to live with... but i try my best... i really did... arghh... it's juz so frustrating... haih... i think i'll end here now... juz thinking of it makes my head spin... nvm... it's over... if sumone doesn't like me... it's their problem... not mine... i'm really sorry... but i really cannot think of any reason to hate myself too... i LOVE myself too much... i juz luv the way i am now... only time can change me... other than dat... i dunno... let time be the answer...

Long Live DBSK

2006-07-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

I LUV DBSK... they're just so hot... especially YoungWoong JaeJoong... so hot... well... it's too bad i couldn't go to their concert dat day... so wasted...
Anyway... i luv their banjun theatres... u can watch them on youtube...
They are:
1) Dangerous Love - it's five of them together... in dis story... jaejoong thought yunho likes him... changmin and junsu gets kidnapped... while yuchoon... well... he's as blur as normal...
2) Tokyo Holiday - dis is yunho's banjun theatre... it's about him sneaking out to see Tokyo... mainly bout yunho
3) Finding Lost Time - dis is yuchoon's banjun theatre... about micky's luv...
4) Unforgetable Girl - dis is the five of them telling stories of their girlfriends... pretty funny...
5) Uninvited Guest
6) Vacation
7) Hip Hop (Jaejoong's banjun)

dat's all i can list for now... there should be more coming out... watch k... they're pretty nice...

Hair Cut

2006-04-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

Oh ya... i cut my hair di... very short now... juz did it bcoz very bored of my long hair di... now i look very innocent... haha... like small budak only...

Sports Dat '06

2006-03-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

aiyo... darker so much di u noe... i did not even think of getting skin cancer when i 'dried' myself under the sun for the raptai sukan... it wasn't until i went home n took of my specs dat i realised how dark i've become... so sakit hati... haih... but wat 2 do... the harm has been done... but it was really somthing worth getting tan for... skipping classes for aerobics, khemah berhias... dun need 2 see brad pitt's beautiful face for the whole week... it's sooooo nice... one full week of pure fun under the SUN... haha... but i mean... it's probably my last year in the school... so as pn yeoh said... contributelah something for the school... rite... haih nvm lah... just writing diz 2 complain about my tan dat many European girls wil go gaga about... haha... but not 4 me... i'm just hoping it will go off... as if i'm not dark enuf already... k lah... better pen off now... nothing 2 rite di... bye...

My Life Now

2006-03-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

Ah... 2 months have passed... and i'm still sleeping... it's juat going too fast... first it was january... den february... den march... n april... n it goes on till november... when my mind crashes... n my soul crushed... but for now... it's one heck of a lifestyle... school-eat-tuition-homework-tv-sleep... it just goes on like dat every single day... without fail... so glad holidays are coming... even if it's just one week... i need time to regenerae n recupperate... feel like fainting... but not enough stress to faint... hate things like diz... not on the right nor left... just caught in the middle... it's so very frustrating... haven't been doing wat i like best... reading... i even got banned fron reading last year... i haven't touched a book this year... (well, actually i have - when i do my duty in the library)... sad isn't it... well... but i think i'm ok... some people r worse than me... i noe... but still... couldn't help not complaining... just to relieve my stress n anger... huh?? wat anger... sorry... but as far as i noe... anger was never in my dictionary... ermm... maybe once or twice... but it gets wiped away very fast... i think...

2006

2006-01-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the first day of school for the year 2006... wow... the holidays really flew... so bo kam muan... i still wanna sleep... waaaa... haih... dat's all lah... nothing really... Juz wanna wish everybody a Happy New Year n bye bye holidays... :'-( Chinese New Year faster cum lah... i want my ang pao... Hahahaha... Adios amigos...

Books Review

2005-11-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

hey... it's me again... u noe how much i LUV books... now.. i feel like reviewing them... haha... to all of u people hu do not like them... i advice u to close dis window n go play ur stupid online games... haha... juz kidding... anyway... my latest book craze... The Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer... this series rocks... believe me... it's worth every single penny... it's about a boy genius who found out bout the world of fairies... n believe me... fairies in this book is not those kind of fairies who have wings n glow in the dark... n datz wat datz make it so exciting... really... n next is the book dat i just finished reading is The Supernaturalist, also by Eoin Colfer... well, up 2 dis point... i gues his books are a little towards sci-fi n it totally rocks... dis time it's bout a boy, Cosmo Hill, a no-sponsor fugutive, n his friends, the Supernaturalist, hunt down little invinsible creatures dat they say sucks up all the life in u... but at the end, they find out dat diz creatures do not suck up ur life... jus ur pain... so, instead of killing us, there relieving us of pain... it's a pretty complicated story... n when u thought it is over... another thing comes out... it's a really exciting twist... read it... n u'll understand wat i'm trying to say... other than dat... i've also been crazy over Meg Cabot's (wat else) the princess diaries... at first... i was a little dubious bout starting on this series(well maybe becoz of my a little boyish character)... but wen i got started... i jus couldn't put it down... it was fantastic... made me laugh my guts out... it's really the perfect book for any teenage girl... (boyz... stay away... diz is not a book 4 u) n it's really nice... a little breather from all the sci-fi dat i hav been reading... whew... n now... u noe wat happen 2 all of my princess diaries books??? my cuzzin book-napped them... yup... she did... :-( Waaaaaaaaaa....... i want my books back.......

Hi dudez... It's ME!!!

2005-11-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

wow... diz must be my first blog in months... well, i'm not really off the hook yet, not until my exams results are out... den i'll really be grounded... basically... diz time i really hav nothing to say... juz sitting here... a little bored... hav read two books in three days... yeah... datz how bored i am... n no wonder my mom even had to ban me from story books... aiyaiai... ban me from story books??? datz juz ridiculous... i'm sure u do not believe me... but den again... u haven't met my mom... haha...

Grounded

2005-09-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

ok... new blog... y so long??? b coz i've been grounded from using the computer... din do finish homework...hehe... naughty girl eh... anyway... i'm writing diz blog from my school pcc... so... guess u'll not be hearing from me till a much later time... at least until i finish my homework... hehe...

One Scary Encounter

2005-09-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

Ok... it began like this... i was doing my duty in the library like every other Friday (i'm a librarian... juz what i've always wanted to be)... when i realised that 'THE' wacko teacher in the library was acting a little bit wierder than normal... ok... stop lying... A LOT wierder... ha... until it was almost time to go home that she called me over to her... (Oh God... i really could start digging my grave now... but at least i was a little prepared... lets just say i'm not her first victim)... for one of her little talks... (TALKS??!! It's torture!!!)... so... she began crapping in her usual manner... about things that i do not wanna say on this blog... (feel free to msg me if you wanna know more... i'll be pleased to tell... on one condition... hire the country's top bodyguard to protect me, from being killed by her... n i'm serious... seriously NOT joking)... its sooooooooo freaky... her mind has well and truly gone cranko... it's the first time i've had such a 'talk' with her... so can't blame me... wanna know who i am talking about??? i'm sure All st. George's students would know... n maybe a small group of people from other schools..... she's THAT famous you know... for what??? her insanity of course!!! anyway... i'm so lucky i wouldn't be seeing her anymore for now... she has been transfered to another department... in case she suddenly goes haywire n start taking a knife and stabbing people to their deaths...*shivers*...

Broken-Hearted

2005-08-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

now... i truly understand the meaning of being heartbroken... how did i find out??? here it goes... ok... i was searching for info for my add maths folio when i decided to have some fun... so i surfed the web for the latest info on my all time favourite band, Westlife... guess wat... lastest info... MARK IS GAY... he confirmed it on the19th of August, 2005 to the reporters of the UK newspaper, The Sun... my heart broke instantly... ok... some of u people out there may be thinking... wat's the big deal... but... i tell u... I REALLY REALLY LOVE WESTLIFE... they were the first band i knew of... n i hav grown together with them through the years... plus i hav alwayz have a crush on Mark... since i was 11, dat was in 2001... i know there are rumours about him being gay all along but i have my total faith in him... but this new news is the last straw... i can't take it anymore... not even when Bryan left was i this hurt... haihz... life is just so unfair... now... dun even try to mention the word gay in front of me... i'll go ballistic... dun believe it??? wanna try... i might juz be mad enuf to staab u to death... juz joking... hehe...

Wat A Day

2005-08-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

woke up early in the morning 2 go 2 skool... it was not until i was alm,ost reaching skool dat i realised there was haze... yaeh... in penang... n we hav diz Ceriathon thing in skool... everybody go outside n tanam pokok.... YAY... masks in the ko-op was sold out by 9 o'clock... haihz... no wonder i can sense dat i'll die young... anyway... the skool was kind enuf 2 let us out early though... at 11.30 rather than at 2... n i dun need 2 go 4 badminton class... yay... dat's 2 weeks straight 4 now...

Hmmm...

2005-08-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

Ok... actually... as diz is my first blog... i was actually intending 2 rite sumthin nice... but sorry i can't... haihz... diz life is filled with many kinds of people... but y r there people hu make the rest of the world hate them... i just dun understand... wanna noe y i am riting diz... bcoz i got 2 demerits 4 nothing at all... shouldn't hav signed dat stupid damn thing... ok... going back 2 the person... the b**ch iz juz making the whole world hate her... honestly... she is not appropriate 2 even b a prefect... not dat i even wanna be one... it's juz dat... being a prefect is not 2 turn urself into the most evil person on earth... so y make chances 4 people 2 hate u??? anyway... 4 now, i'm definately gonna pray hard dat she kena pecat... well... juz 2 seek revenge from me, my dearest frens n anyone whom she had done bad on... datz all 4 my first blog... noe it suckz but ... datz juz dat...